Special Person in my Life

There comes a time in everyones Life when they wonder why they are in the Life that they are in

Wonder why they put up with Verbal, Mental and sometimes Physical Abuse, listen to someone tell you all the Time that you are useless, fat, not much to look at, that your Body is nothing since you have given Birth to Kids, tell you that no one else would ever look twice at you and that no one would ever you want you or love you. Even a Person who is scared to stand up for herself and a Person who tried for 21 years to make a Marriage work but only get that sort of Treatment, but of course when the other Person wants something of all a sudden that Person is nice to you, but if you refuse well then of course you get called names. You help People, they kick you down, your other Half knows what you have been through and that you are scared of People specially Men, but thinks it is great when his Mates make passes as you and then wonders why you panic then tells you that they must be desperate and that you should feel complimented

Well my Time came when I had more then enough, 21 years later

It came a week before my 40th Birthday, when my Doctor informed me that I had to go through Tests as my Chest X rays had come back showing signs of Emphasimia. I asked her to leave it for a while

The Reason I had gone to her was chest Pains and breathing Problem, I went home and told my Husband, who said, ok well we will see won't we, where is my Tea, that is when I realized I had to change my Life before it was to late. My Children at the time where 17 and 14 years old. My Son never got on with his Dad and when he started work he volunteered to work in London during the Week, I missed him but I understood. Well, I just carried on as normal and as so many other things that have happened in my Life buried the Illness. My 40th Birthday came, my Husband apologises that he did not buy me anything as he had no money, which I found a bit strange, but told him it was alright. In the Afternoon, he receives a Phone call from his Friends inviting him to a Barbeque and out on the Town later. He says" no I better not as it is her Birthday, even though I would rather be there", he did not realize I was standing behind the Door. As I walk in he says "have you got any Money, as I would like to go out if you don't mind I will make it up to you". I asked what about the Barbaque we where suppose to have with Friends that night. He snaps at me and says," Well I will stay here then". I knew my Life would be made a misery as he wanted to go out with his Friends. I threw the last of my Money at him and told him to go. He comes across all soft and Gentle and says, Are you sure, I mean I will stay here if you want me to. I told him to go. He got showered and changed and asked me to drop him of. I did and when he tried to Kiss me I turned away. At that moment I knew my Marriage was over, I was not willing to put up with this and many other things anymore.

I got asked at work if I was willing to work away for a week as there was help needed in another City. I told them yes I would. I did not go home and ask Permission, those Days where over. He asked what about the Kids, I told him that they where not little anymore and that it was about time he took responsibility. My Boss picked me up on the Monday Morning, my Daughter was upset as she had never been away from me, but I needed to get away to think and get my Life in order.

We arrived and where greeted by the Manager I would be working with and for. When I got out of the Car the first thing that struck me was his eyes, he had lovely eyes, he was cheerful and seemed to have a great Personality. For the first time in my Life I knew straight away that he was a Person I could trust. The more I got to know him the more I trusted him, his Name was Mathew

I worked with Mathew for 10 Days and then the Job was finished, we had become Friends and I was a bit sad to leave but I had to go back Home.

I decided my Marriage was over, all the time I was away, my Husband hardly spoke to me, or he was out on the Town and when I got home he said he was going out. It suited me fine as I realized that I did not love him anymore and probably hadn't for a long time. That Night I realized something, I had very strong Feelings for Mathew, I would not call it love at that time

I was sitting thinking about him, his Personality, his kind caring and great Personality', his gentle Voice, making me feel like I am somebody, someone that was not giving me verbal abuse. Well I also knew that we would only ever be Friends I mean look at me, nothing Special and Fat.

My Marriage ended, my Illness was being tested as the Pains had got worse, then after 6 months of not hearing anything from Mathew he phoned me. I was so happy to hear his voice again. I realized then that he meant a lot to me, that I would like to have him in my Life for ever. A year later I went to see him, by this time I was waiting for my Divorce to come through, through all the Stress I had lost a lot of weight. Well the Day I went to see him my feelings for him where confirmed to me when he kissed me. I had never felt this way with any Man, I was scared of Men, but this Man I trusted fully. My Feelings where not wrong about him. He is a gentle caring loving Person. I still get lost in those lovely eyes. There is only one of him, he is the Man of my Dreams and over these last few Years I have grown to love him very much

My Life has changed a lot over the last few Years but with his help and care I have managed to stay above and have the Life I want. It took me a long time to find this kind of a Man and I really hope he will be in my Life for ever, If I would have stayed married to my Ex Husband I know I would have been a wreck and not had a Life, Mathew knows me better then my Ex Husband ever did and he accepts me for who I am and the way I am, when I am down he picks me up, when I cry he always makes me laugh, the sadness just leaves, if I am in a mood or have my Stubborn head on he sorts me out, not in a nasty way but in a caring way and makes me see sense, no one has ever managed that before.

Mathew is a special Person in my Life and there is only one of him and I thank my Lucky Stars that he is mine and hope he will be always

Mathew thank you for being you,for giving me back my confidence,for being in my Life and please no matter what never change